We’ve all done it. We’ve all been on the receiving end of it. You may be experiencing it right now: putting off a difficult conversation you know you need to have. What makes a conversation difficult? It could be how important, complex, or uncomfortable it feels. But one specific problem creates most of the difficulty around these conversations.

When thinking of the word “conflict”, most of us picture something like in-your-face, mean-spirited attacks. The kind we typically see on workplace comedies, or have heard horror stories about from our friends or family. While this can certainly happen, I have observed that conflict more often takes another form in many workplaces…

Perhaps one of the most popular topics I work with clients on is conflict. It's no surprise, as conflict truly has the power to make or break a team, depending on how it's handled. However, while conflict is one of the most common topics I work on, it often comes in a reactive way rather than a proactive one.

We've all been there. Sharing something with a coworker in confidence, and somehow the whole office knows the next day. Or perhaps we have been on the other end. A coworker spilling the tea to us about someone else on the team and suddenly we think, "wow... what must they be saying about me when I'm not around?"

We have heard it said there are 2 things in life that are inevitable: death and taxes. A mentor used to tell me there was a third… conflict. The more time I have spent working with organizations, the more I am convinced this is true.

I once heard an excellent quote that said:

“Most conflicts are simply an argument over the definition of words.”

I believe there is a lot of truth in that. One of the main reasons conflict resolution remains so difficult is that the parties involved often do not start from the same place.

Growing up a Canadian, I quickly learned the value my country places on being “polite.” I would hear it constantly when I traveled, “you’re a Canadian? I love Canadians! You are all so nice.”

De-escalation has been on the rise significantly in workplaces in the last few years. When you hear the word de-escalation…

Nothing lets conflict marinate better than being stuck in the car with someone for a long drive. For most of us…